And That's All She Wrote

           

           What does being a responsible citizen mean? I think it means to fulfill your moral duties as a human being. Everyone is free to make choices. The paths we choose will decide what happens tomorrow, or even what happens in the future. In turn, the choices made during life can have an impact on the people around us. One of my main strengths is also one of my main weaknesses. I am full of compassion!! This is how I do my part in becoming a responsible citizen; I care and help when I can.

When I first planned on attending college, I wanted to be a nurse; actually I wanted to be a midwife. I started looker closer at the things required for this position. I love babies, and I don’t get grossed out easily, so I thought delivering them would be fun. I could picture the happy parents and the proud siblings. But then I started looking at the down side of this job. Many children are born with disabilities, some fatal. Many pregnant mothers are not responsible enough to resist drinking alcohol, doing drugs or smoking. If I had to deal with these situations, I’d be a wreck. I’d probably cry everyday, all the time, and probably have it out with a few unfit mothers. When I see people in need or in situations that hurt them, I can’t help but the feel bad. I want to help everyone I can, and I do as much as I can. So here I am now, a marketing student.

From the readings in my English class this semester, I was lucky to get an insight on the lives of some interesting characters. I can say that I have learned a lot from them. One of my favorites was A Question of Power, written by Bessie Head. This novel was a very twisted, complicated, but very interesting story about a girl named Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s struggle with sanity was brought on because she had a damaged “frame” surrounding her life. Before taking this class, I had no idea of the impact a frame has on the way I am, and how I chose to live my life. What is a frame anyways? As explained in Artists of the Floating World, by Burton p.61 and quoted from Lakoff, frames are "Mental structures that shape the way we see the world"

Because Elizabeth grew up without a sense of belonging, she could not identify with the world. She struggled to find herself, and she struggled between sanity and reality. As a baby, she was rejected by society because she was born to a white mother, and a black father. At 13, she found the out the truth of her birth, and that’s what started her frame to break apart. Like a small pebble dropped into the water, this event cause ripples which disrupted the calmness inside of Elizabeth. As an adult, Elizabeth was constantly bombarded with visions from Medusa, Dan (a very evil man) and Sello (a monk). Drug through hell, Elizabeth is finally set free in the end after finding herself with the help or a garden, particularly a plant named the Cape Gooseberry which she can relate her own life story to, and Tom (who has sincere feelings for her).

Another character from the readings in the class who struggled to find themselves is Jasmine from the story Jasmine, by Bharati Mukherjee. All throughout this novel, Jasmine changes her name, and with the name changes, come new life changes. “I have had a husband for each of the women I have been. Prakash for Jasmine, Taylor for Jase, Bud for Jane.  Half-Face for Kali” (Mukherjee 197). Jasmine came to the United States for the sake of her husbands dream. Her husband had passed away in India, where Jasmine is from and where she lived all her life previously. Because her husband encouraged her to go to school and become a person she always desired to be, Jasmine was determined to come to the United States and start a new life as a new person. Little did she know she would end up becoming many different people in order to find the ONE person she wanted to be.

After going through many harsh realities and many different lives, Jasmine settles on the name and life of Jase. During her life as Jase she found the most happiness and the most love. It was where she belonged and who she thought represented her the most. She wanted people to see her as “humorous, intelligent, refined, affectionate.  Not illegal, not murderer, not widowed, raped, destitute, fearful” (Mukherjee 171).

The woman in these novels made me realize how fortunate I really am. I stress out over school, kids and work, but at least I feel a belonging here. I helped create this life for myself and I feel anchored down by it, not floating uncontrollably through life. I am the way I am because of the way I was raised, and because of the things I have seen and experienced in life. I have learned so much through this class from the characters in the novels, but also from my instructor. Mr. Burton struggles with his own floating world, being caught between two countries. I can say I walk away from this class with a better understanding and appreciation for life. I leave you with another poem I wrote in a creative writing class. Just a little more into what I’m all about!! Have a great summer all!!!

 

I am the strongest person you will ever meet. I never

cry

or

frown

I make the best of everything, the girl who always smiles. I don’t hurt. I don’t feel sadness always

happy,

always

looking on the bright side.

Besides, it could be worse right? But the mask I wear, I can’t wear forever.

Bottled up is

Pain

                        Hurt

Loneliness and Fear.

It hurts to look around and see 

                        Murder of innocent people

                                    Hunger

                                                Hate

                                                            Drug Addiction

My eyes meet those of an old homeless man

                        Dirty

                                    Starving

                                                And so very sad

I want to help, I want to help everyone. I want to take away the pain and bring it upon myself.

We are killing ourselves everyday, but I have not the power to do anything. I’m only a single person, so I pray for the suffering to end.

For those that I can help, I help by being the happy person I am. A single smile, the words “how are you today”  “don’t let that bring you down” or “you can do it” can bring the simplest joy someone. So smile at a friend or a stranger, bringing a little light into their lives, even when the sadness of the world weighs on your shoulders.